The Morning Commute
The two hopped in Mr. Ball’s truck and headed over to Nardell’s house to pick him up for school. Nardell was Gary’s best friend. He could always count on him for a good laugh. As the two pulled up to the house, Gary hopped out and ran up to the door.
“Good Morning Mrs. Moore.”
“Hello Gary. Nardell is upstairs getting ready. You can go head up if you would like.”
Gary politely took his shoes off and ran up the steps. He heard the song, “Jump, Shake your Booty” blasting when he reached the top of the stairs. Gary gave a couple of strong knocks, but the music was just too loud. He decided to peek his head in the door. There was Nardell in his undies singing into his remote control while he was shaking his butt in the mirror.
“HaHa! What are you doing?” Gary asked as he sat at the corner of Nardell’s bed. Nardell continued to dance as he walked over to Gary and shook his butt at him.
“Get that thing out of my face!”Gary giggled as he gave it a quick slap. Nardell turned off the music.
“Man, you look pretty good in that costume, but wait until you see mine.”Nardell said as he pulled out a pink dress with sparkling beads all over it.
“A dress?” Gary giggled.
“Can you help me get it on?” Nardell asked.
“I can’t believe you are wearing this. You’re hilarious!” Gary said.
Nardell stepped into the one piece dress through the top and pulled it up over his shoulders.
“Just zip me up in the back.”
The dress was actually his sister’s. She was a year older than Nardell, but much shorter.
“This isn’t going to fit.” Gary told Nardell.
“Yes it will. I’ll suck my belly in on the count of three, then you pull up as hard as you can. 1, 2, 3!”
The zipper shot right up to the back of Nardell’s neck. Nardell ran over to the mirror to check himself out.
“Will you be honest with me?” Nardell asked with a serious look. “Does my butt look good in this dress?” Nardell said before he busted out laughing.
Gary laughed along with him as he headed towards the door. “I’ll be downstairs”
Nardell continued to laugh as he slipped into his shiny pink heels. He walked over to the mirror to give himself a kiss. “See you later beautiful.” He said as he left the room.
Nardell’s mother was enjoying her morning tea when she saw him coming down the stairs. She nearly spit out half of it before she was able to put her hand to her mouth.
“Son, what are you doing?” she asked in disbelief.
“Do you like it Mom?”
“I can’t believe my only son is headed to 3rd grade in a princess outfit.” She said trying to hold back from bursting out into laughter. “Make sure you finish your breakfast before you leave.”
Nardell ran over and picked his bean burrito off of his plate. “I’ll see you later mom. I love you.”
“I love you too princess.” His mother shouted as he headed out the door.
The two hopped into the back seat of Mr. Ball’s truck. Gary’s dad looked at Nardell and laughed. “Gary where did you find this little beauty at?” Gary’s father joked.
Nardell laughed as he took the last bite of his burrito.
“Are you all having a party today at school?” Gary’s father asked.
“Yeah, but we get out at 12:00 today. Will you be able to pick us up?”
“That shouldn’t be a problem. I just need to finish up a couple jobs at work and I’ll check out early.” Gary’s dad said as he pulled out and turned on the radio.
It was a good 15 minute drive to school and that was if they didn’t hit any traffic. As they sat and listened to the radio, Nardell felt some bubbling in his stomach.
“Must be the burrito” he thought to himself.
As they drove on, Nardell felt a gas bubble roaming and growing in his stomach. He tried his best to hold it until he got to school.
“Squeak!” A tiny bit of gas snuck out.
Nardell looked to see if anyone had heard it, but luckily the radio drowned out the sound. Nardell nervously bit his lip as he squirmed in his seat. Mr. Ball turned the radio off up front.
“Oh Man, do you guys smell that?” he asked.
“It smells like someone ran over a skunk with a pile of old poop.” Gary said as he pulled his shirt over his nose.
Nardell giggled. He tried to hold back his laughter. He thought it was hilarious that they thought it was something outside and not him.
“Eww! It smells like a turd died and went to heaven in my nose.” Gary’s dad also commented on the awful odor as he put all the windows in the car down. They drove on for a while.
“Dad I think the smell is gone. Could you please put up the windows? I’m freezing.”
Unfortunately for Nardell the gas inside him was growing and growing. He knew that school was only five minutes away.
“I can hold it” Nardell said to himself as he squeezed his cheeks tightly.
Nardell looked around the headrest in the front seat and saw a terrible sight-a school bus.
“Well now I have at least a ten minute wait” Nardell mumbled.
“What’s wrong back there guys. You haven’t said a word.” Mr. Ball hollered into the back seat.
“I’m just thinking about today Dad.” Gary responded.
The stopping and starting of the school bus was just killing Nardell. He was beginning to lose the battle. He felt his cheeks start to weaken. “FRUMMPPP………put…..put….puuuuuuuuuuut…………squeaaaaaaaaaaaaak!”
Nardell gave in. He just let it all out. “What the heck was that?” Mr. Ball turned around to see if everything was all right.
Gary broke out into laughter.
“Sorry Mr. Ball. I just couldn’t hold it” Nardell said holding back laughter.
Meanwhile Gary was in tears laughing. Then the smell hit.
“Oh man. You might have burnt a hole your pants. That is the worst smell I’ve ever experienced in my life. My nose will never forgive me!” Gary yelled as he put his window down and stuck his head out the window.
Gary then turned and tried to smack Nardell, but his seatbelt wouldn’t let him reach. Nardell was now proud of his stink and wore a big smile on his face. Gary took his shoe off and tossed it at Nardell. Nardell quickly dodged it and the shoe went flying out of the window that Gary’s dad had rolled down once again.
“Dad! My shoe!” Mr. Ball witnessed the event and began to laugh.
“Looks like you’re going to school minus a shoe.” Mr. Ball said as he pulled alongside the curb.